Withdrawal Symptoms

Beads of sweat shone on my forehead, the shirt felt sogged, long strands of saliva eased their way down. There was a stench of vomit in the air or maybe like so many things it was just in my mind. Like so many days I found myself on the floor of the bathroom, my back to the wall, the door ajar. People were passing me by, just like everyday ... busy. I could feel the rise and fall of concern. A cackle here... a tut-tut there. A sense of worry twirling around like a reluctant nascent tornado, trying to muster energy, then fizzling out. Yet I swear I felt a familiar head pop in and out betraying some genuine sense of worry. I tried to turn around, but the head hinged around in slow motion and flopped floorwards. The body shook with the shock. I felt tears trickling down the cheeks. There was a hurt in the chest which seemed to get heavier.
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They swayed to the music, with her in hand. Each one on his own little island - breezy, tall lanky
dancing trees, dancing to the rythmic roars of waves washing ashore.I gaped with misty eyes - How badly I wanted that. It started with a sip , a taste that filled my senses with a tingly excitement and heaviness at the same time. It was as if the soothsayer in me long predicted disaster. A battle ensued between the monocled soothsayer and the trident bearing creature. The battle had been won for the time being and I started to indulge.

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As I stumbled and made my way to the sink, I felt the pull - like that of a celestial body urging me to orbit her, to slowly plunge into her. I closed my eyes, for I couldnt overlook her brilliance. With an impulsive start I siezed her and poured her down the sink. As she swirled down with a slow teasing gait, I fell down on my knees, then on my back, closed my eyes and thought what if?....